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Too Much Heat In The Kitchen

Husband:  When will dinner be ready?

Me:  When the smoke alarm goes off.

Chocolate Chip Goodness

I love this video! It was one of those perfect unplanned moments.  I had just finished getting Lucas’ two-year-old pictures taken and we were on our way out when I decided to stop and get us a chocolate chip cookie and milk to share.  Lucas got it everywhere, rightfully so, after being dressed up in a button down shirt for waaaay longer than any two-year-old should have to.   Usually about 30 seconds is Luke’s max.   This video makes me smile, pure toddler joy.  Even today, for me there is nothing better than a little milk and cookies.  Like Mother like son.

M

Lessons I Have Learned (and Some I Have Re-Learned) From My Toddler

1.  A little ketchup never hurt anybody.

2.  An apple a day might keep the doctor away, but sometimes milk and cookies are just what the doctor ordered.

3.  Cats REALLY don’t like to have their tails pulled.

4.  Getting really really dirty and muddy can be really really fun.

5.  Sometimes using your words doesn’t work and the best thing to do is scream, cry, and get all that frustration out…and then take a nap with a nice blanket.  You’ll feel better when you wake up.

6.  It’s awesome and exciting when Daddy comes home from work.

7.  Peas are GROSS…even with ketchup.

8.  Find joy in the little things daily, i.e. a pretty flower, a cool rock on the ground, a stick shaped like a sword, getting to play in the front seat of the car, sun on your face, wind in the trees, jumping on the bed when Mommy is not looking, flushing the toilet just cuz…

9.  Listen to your Mother, she generally knows what’s best for you…even if you are a Mother.

When In Doubt…Throw It Out

Just went through our medicine cabinet and threw out all of our expired and unused prescriptions and medicines. There was no particular reason for me doing this. I didn’t sit down to watch an episode of Oprah, with Oprah using her ”scary Oprah voice”, about a baby dying from ingesting old prescriptions. After which, I would then go running and sobbing to the medicine cabinet throwing everything out in a feverish attempt to prevent the same from happening in my house.

Although I would have if I had watched such an episode.

Dr. Phil didn’t blast into my living room with a story of a family who’s teenagers got addicted to pain pills from taking their parent’s unused meds.

However I still got rid of my old, never taken, Vicodin from knee surgery last year.

It all got started when I was giving Lucas a bath and happened to glance way up to the top of the open towel cabinet. On the top shelf resided our box of medicines, safely out of Stretch Armstrong Jr.’s. I opened up the medicine chest and began to examine it’s contents. Old Benadryl, sticky out of date cough drops, Tylenol expiring from back when I was a size four…and I can tell you honestly that was a LONG time ago. It was time to clean it all out. In the words of Bon Qui Qui “you gots to go.”

Living in the Haus of Boys clutter is at any moment waiting to take over. I am a clutter fighter. Mail never sits on the counter for longer than thirty seconds. If Ettore sets the newspaper down to go to the bathroom, the newspaper goes in the trash. Besides isn’t he supposed to read the paper on the toilet anyway? Shoes are forever being put away, laundry folded, dishes emptied, papers from God knows where thrown away. I am drowning in papers. You would think with all the de-cluttering I do the house would be spotless. It’s not. Whatever I put or throw away, a twin replacement is brought in by elves the next day to replace the item. My house looks like we’ve been robbed, if the robbers only didn’t take anything, just ate a bunch of food, and dumped their gym clothes on the living room floor. And the socks, don’t even get me started on the socks.

With my constant de-cluttering, you would think the medicine cabinet would be spotless. Not the case, the medicine had been silently avoiding my radar for years apparently. The gig was up and it felt great to get rid of all that old stuff. It made me feel like a good Mom to clean out and purge all that old medicine and put it back up out of my son’s reach. No one told me to do it, I just did. Go Mom! I felt adult, cleansed, and in need of going to Rite Aid to restock on NyQuil and stool softener (you never know when the stools might need a little softening…and you want to be prepared…trust me).

No scary story calling me to action, just being a good Mom.

Next up I am testing the smoke alarms.

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Dear Stepsons,

I know you read my blog, mostly at school, but I won’t complain at least you ARE reading and I could use the hit count. It seems my charger for my iphone has gone missing. Now I don’t want to jump to conclusions and ASSUME that one of my very sweet stepsons borrowed my iphone charger without asking and did not put it back. Assuming would be out of line….it’s just that I know you both have ipods attached to your ears at all times and your Dad wouldn’t know an iphone charger if it hit him in the head. SOOO that really leaves one of you two.

Let’s take a minute and re-visit the time not too long ago when I brought a bottle of super glue into the house to repair our KOA camping mug. The mug never ended up getting repaired because the super glue went missing and all the scissors ended up getting glued together. I don’t want to point fingers, but again the suspect list was short at two. After a failed shakedown to find the serial gluer I enacted a don’t tell…just return policy for the glue…and remember…it worked. The superglue, minus one lid (details), was returned to the cabinet no questions asked. I think I will return to that policy.

I don’t care who has my iphone charger or what the dramatic teenage story is as to how it was borrowed and not returned…just return it to my office and we can all go on with our lives…no questions asked. Returning my charger is your chance NOT to get a lecture, a family meeting, or the always painful family discussion at the dinner table.

P.S. I have started dieting so I would advise the charger be returned before a carb craving kicks in. It safest for all that way.

Love,

Your Stepmom

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Puppy Love

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Nice boots make me sleepy

Benny the puppy loves pooping on the Persian rug, chasing squirrels, sitting on laps, and chewing on expensive shoes and accessories.  This is a photo of Benny in a deep sleep cuddled up to my black knee high boots.  He loves them.  He also loves all things expensive and fashionable.  My list of expensive and fashionable things has diminished greatly since having children, but the few items I still possess Benny likes too.  Benny likes to chew on my Isaac Mizrahi maroon patent leather boots that I am to be buried in.  Benny loves to run down the hall with my Eric Micheal boots trailing from his mouth full of puppy slobber.  Benny loves to nap directly on my Dansko knee high boots…see photo above.  In fact his favorite place to sleep is in my closet next to the shoe rack.  

Benny is a puppy fashionista.

My good friend Katrena Rochell is an amazing actress from London.  She was in Los Angeles recently to promote the new film she is in called Kick Ass, starring Nicholas Cage.  Since Katrena lives in London I rarely get to see her.  When she was unexpectedly in Los Angeles I jumped in the car with Benny and we went for a quick two day trip. 

Just enough time for Benny to love on her Gucci heels and Chanel watch.

I was horrified.

Relaxing in his dog bed, Benny happily gnawed on one of Kat’s Gucci designer heels.  I would of got a picture, except I screamed when I saw him chewing on the shoe and he dropped the heel.  I offered to get a loan and borrow against my house to pay to have the shoe repaired, but Kat graciously said it was no big deal, she loves dogs and understands.   As I was putting her heel away don’t think I didn’t secretly try and stuff my size 9.5″ hoof in Kat’s 7.5″ Gucci heel…when in Rome.

Kat must REALLY love dogs, because not more than one hour later Benny had jumped on the couch and got a hold of Kat’s GEORGEOUS white Chanel watch on the side table and was licking away at it’s diamonds.  I hoped it was water proof.  Again more apologies, screaming, and a new one….anxiety and stress sweat on my part.   Kat just laughed, plucked the Chanel watch from Benny’s mouth and graciously replied ”it’s no big deal.”  Kat must think I have some juicy dirt on her from “back in the day” because she was so great about the whole thing.  I think I am going to go with that.  Meanwhile  Benny’s dog toys lay ignored to the side.  No rawhide bone,  Puperoni stick, or stuffed animal compared to high fashion.

We have to hide all my nice boots.  I don’t have the heart to tell Benny though, that the boots he is chewing on…they are so last season. 

Get your own Lady

Don’t even think about wearing these boots

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He Didn’t Get It From Me

There are many things of mine that were transferred to my son Lucas through the DNA.

1.  The ability to laugh at our own jokes…despite the strong realization that we are the only ones who think we are funny.

2.  The ability to look good in black and wear it year round.

3.  A deep and sincere appreciation for food dipped in ketchup.

4.  A hatred for wearing jackets.

5.  Dancing when the food gets delivered in restaurants.

HOWEVER where the DNA splits off is at housework.  I hate housework and LUCAS LOVES TO CLEAN.  He loves to sweep, mop, dust bust, and he will even dump over his own water just so he can grab a towel and clean it up. 

What Lucas REALLY loves to do though is vacuum.   Vacuum in the morning.  Vacuum in the  afternoon.  Vacuum in the evening.  Vacuum at Nana’s.  Vacuum at Mommy and Me.  Vacuum – vacuum – vacuum.  First thing when Lucas gets up in the morning, while I am still bleary eyed and puffy from sleep and contemplating the choices I have made in life, Lucas has RUN to the closet and is demanding that I get the vacuum out.

Sometimes I just throw stuff on the floor so he can go vacuum it up. 

People think I am doing an awesome job with Lucas “training” him to help with chores, but it just comes naturally.  When people comment on Lucas’ cleaning I can honestly tell them…

“He gets it from his Father.”

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Valentine Raspberry Meringue Hearts with Kiss The Cook

Perfect for Valentines Day…Raspberry Meringue Hearts and the word stiff…we are talking about the meringue.  Ettore makes absolutley the best meringue and the Raspberry Meringue Hearts he shows us here are easy breezy to make.  You will need parchment paper, and disposable pastry bags…but don’t be scared…go for it.  I promise the Raspberry Meringue Hearts are DEE-LISH!  Your sweet will love this treat.

RASPBERRY MERINGUE HEARTS

6 Egg Whites (approx. 1 cup)

2 Cups Sugar

1 Cup Heavy Whipping Cream

2 Tbls. Sugar for whipped cream

Raspberries

Powdered Sugar

Pre-heat oven to 200 degrees.  Separate egg whites and SLOWLY begin to beat in sugar.  Be sure to go slowly and use blender on slowest setting.  Adding the sugar to the egg whites should take several minutes and continue till the meringue is stiff.   Add meringue to a disposable pastry bag.

On a cookie sheet place a piece of parchment paper.  Draw hearts by hand or trace around a heart shaped cookie cutter.  Take pastry bag filled with meringue and outline the hearts and fill in the center.  Outline the heart twice.  Bake for thirty minutes or until meringue heart is stiff.

In a separate bowl beat manufacturing cream with sugar to taste until whipped cream is made.  You can also add vanilla for flavor.  This will make the filling for the center of meringue.  Once meringue hearts are baked, spoon the fresh whipped cream into the center of the meringue heart.  Top with fresh raspberries and dust with powdered sugar. 

Finally take meringue heart with you and lock yourself in a closet and devour by yourself and refuse to share…they are that good.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Love,

M

 

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