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Fundraisers Are Hell On My Thighs

Fudraising CookiesSpring is coming.  How do I know?  The school spring fundraising has begun.  Warning ladies!  Adorable children everywhere will soon be trolling the neighborhoods and streets of America with brochure after brochure clutched in their little hands toting the likes of Girl Scout Cookies, Candy Bars, and in our case…BUCKETS of Otis Spunkmeyer Cookies.   We now have FOUR in our fridge.

My thighs don’t need buckets of Otis Spunkmeyer cookies.  My thighs need a bucket of carrots and a good personal trainer.

 Here is the thing though.

I felt bad.  I wanted to help my stepson Reilly with his fundraising for his school.  We try and teach giving back, working hard, and putting efforts in to your education.  I couldn’t turn him down when confronted with his eager face hoping to do well at the fundraiser and put into practice the lessons I had been teaching him.

Actually that is a load of crap.  Reilly is FAR MORE SAAVY THAN THAT.  I felt guilty and did NOT want to be the Stepmom that didn’t but any cookies from her stepson… and the kid knew it.

I bought four buckets.

With a check for four buckets of Otis Spunkmeyer cookies safely tucked away in his fundraiser envelope I got a hug and an announcement of ”your the best Stepmom in the world!”  In turn for selling his buckets of cookies Reilly won something made of plastic that will end up in the vacuum, the baby’s mouth, or on the floorboard of my car.

Guilt sells.

This is not this Stepmom’s first guilt filled misstep in the unchartered territory of school fundraising.  I met my stepsons when they were well into their elementary school careers.  There was no warming up to school fundraising for me.  No learning the ropes, no pacing myself starting in my child’s kindergarten class.  I dove head first in the live auctions, donations, and volunteering.  My fundraising learning curve was like jumping off a cliff.

“It’s for the children”  is all I could  mutter to my wallet shocked husband when I got in a bidding war at a school auction and paid several hundred dollars for horse back riding lessons even though horses scare the crap out of me and I have yet to ride a horse that I haven’t fallen off of.

Ettore: (with Swiss German accent) “Sweetheart!!!  What are you doing?  Put that bidding paddle down….YOU DON”T EVEN LIKE HORSE!”

Me:  “It’s for the children…we can bond.”

I should of known my stepsons would be horrified when I was the lone bidder at ANOTHER school auction and bid on and won a box of home grown seasonal vegetables delivered once a month for an entire year.

“YOU BID ON WWWWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTT………….AND WE WON IT???????!!!!!!!!!!……………..NNNNNOOOOOO” was the  response I received when I got home holding a token Eggplant to show the boys we will be learning all about where our food comes from once a month for the next year.

Aparently the boys learned our food comes in a box that sits on our doorstep while their Father and I Google what to do with random vegetables we have never heard of.

It’s for the children.

I am signing off to go turn on the oven and bake me some cookies.

At least I have until Back to School night in the Fall to finish them off.

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